Just Cry

Lately, I've been wanting to post on here, but have been lacking inspiration. I have no profound words, no inspiring speech, no tried-and-true tactics to share with you.

I just have a "personal revelation" of sorts. It is hard for me to share with you since I am typically not the type of person to share deeply personal matters with others (especially strangers online...hmm...), but I hope you can relate to what I've been going through and perhaps learn something from it.

Let me start out by saying that I am an introvert. Sure, I have my extrovert moments (and many of them), but when it comes to preference, I'm alright spending time alone. I don't have to be with people all the time. I prefer following others and letting others try something new first before I myself attempt it (with some exceptions). I like other people to ask for things if I need something, etc. etc. It's just my personality.

With that said, I am not one to talk about my problems, show my emotions, or wear my heart on my sleeve. If I have problems (which I, of course, DO), I try to solve them myself. If I cry, it is by myself when no one is watching.

But lately, I've been learning that it's okay to just cry. I've always known it, but have all the same ignored it. It's alright to show my emotions. It's okay to cry, especially in front of family. It's okay to tell them if I'm going through something hard.

I am the type of person you could compare to, say, a balloon. I bottle up the air (anger, bitterness, tears) and after a while can no longer hold it all in. The air may come out in short puffs (rude remarks, mean talk, etc.), or it may all come out at once. And two days ago, I let it out.

I used to think to myself, If it's true that some people are like balloons holding air that will all come out soon, then I'm a far overdue balloon. Before Saturday, it'd been months since I'd cried in front of anyone. I don't prefer crying in front of others, but I finally couldn't hold it any longer. I just let it out. I cried, and I told my parents that I was going through some tough stuff, and they were very understanding. (as always)

I guess I have been somewhat afraid of crying in front of others. I am afraid that people will excuse my tears as hormones acting up or grouchiness/moodiness. This drives me absolutely insane. It makes me want to scream at people that I have actual problems - I'm not just a hormonal female. But, if I screamed at others, they would still consider me a moody female...
=D

I've been afraid of telling my problems to others. I like to try and solve all of them by myself, and while this works on rare occasion, the problems are never fully resolved. I always feel guilt, or anger, or sadness unless I tell somebody. Then, instead of solving them, I often just blow up at people in spurts of anger. This, as you have probably assumed, isn't healthy.

So, it's okay to cry. It really is. You may inwardly agree with me but outwardly have no resolve to actually cry. That's how I used to be. But...I'm not as much like that as I was before. You feel so much better after you just cry and somebody listens and tells you that you can always talk to them, you can always cry. And if you don't have anybody in your life that you can just cry to, cry to Jesus. He is always there. He is always your portion. He always has time for you, time to listen to your problems. He always understands you, always knows exactly what you think and feel, and doesn't think you are just a moody teenager :). He knows that you are a treasure.

So just cry.

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book? - Psalm 56:8


"Why you gotta act so strong?
Go ahead and take off your brave face
Why you telling me that nothing's wrong
It's obvious you're not in a good place
Who's telling you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings
Get past the corner of your eye

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby, take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It may be tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry

I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verses by memory
Yeah, they're good but life is hard
And days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
Name your fears and doubts
Don't stuff your shame and sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby, take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It may be tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright

Just cry
Just cry

It doesn't mean you don't trust Him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redeeming everything

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby, take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It may be tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
But tonight it's alright

Just cry

Why you gotta act so strong?
Go ahead and take off your brave face." - Mandisa, Just Cry


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A.J.  – (October 23, 2012 at 10:38 AM)  

I can really relate to this right now. I love how you are not afraid to post what you really feel. :)

-A.J.

BFoxy  – (October 23, 2012 at 4:53 PM)  

Thanks for your vulnerability. i can totally relate!!! :DD Good post. It's IS good to cry.

Molly Marie  – (October 23, 2012 at 5:15 PM)  

I'm such an introvert too, and I have always felt the same way about crying in front of people - like they will not understand, and think of me as a moody, hormonal little girl. I don't know though, I still have problems with crying in front of my parents, and I think I might always have that. But lately, I think I've found the relief in crying to Jesus, it really gets things out.

~Molly~
mollyslittlecorner.blogspot.com

Mikaylah H.  – (October 24, 2012 at 1:01 PM)  

I love your post! I just came back to writing things on my blog, and thought I would read your's for inspiration! Your blog never ceases to amaze me, yet nothing on here points to yourself, but to your love for the LORD and how you seek to do everything for HIS glory. What an example! I would love for you to "guest post" for my blog. Do you think you could? Its fine if you can't, I completely understand! BTW, love your new blog design!!

christasterken  – (October 24, 2012 at 6:16 PM)  

Profound post Tal, I am so proud of you

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